Tag: ADHD

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We Don’t Outgrow Our ADHD.

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We don’t outgrow our ADHD, we adjust our behavior accordingly. For me, ADHD is perpetual refocusing; perpetual redirecting; and perpetual emotional regulation. The most challenging aspect of my ADHD is self-regulation. Depending on who you ask in the ADHD expert realm, ADHD is a “permanent” neuro-developmental/neuro-biological/neurological/neuro-behavioral disorder or chronic condition. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the diagnosis of ADHD is recognized as a lifelong disorder. (DSM-5 Fifth Edition; American Psychiatric Association, 2013). If you do a search using the terms “lifelong” “ADHD” “disorder”, it will return numerous scholarly articles which state that ADHD is a lifelong condition. Hence, WE likely (sorry, it’s the lawyer in me) DO NOT OUT GROW OUR ADHD.

ADHD is a lifestyle
We don’t out grow our ADHD

If we don’t outgrow ADHD, what should we do?

So what do we do now? We grow with our ADHD. How you might ask – by learning! We become our own advocates with regard to our diagnosis and treatment. We learn everything we can about our individual symptoms. We dissect each symptom. Categorize them. Learn which behaviors manifest each symptom and why. Track these behaviors. Learn how to self-regulate. Talk to fellow ADHDers. Attempt a variety of interventions/treatments. Talk to a doctor who specializes in ADHD. Try an ADHD coach. Listen to podcasts. Read books. Learn how to meditate. Use healing crystals.

To learn more about ADHD, start here What is ADHD blog post.

Keep learning about your ADHD

There are many options available today, some free, some not. Do a Google search. Start somewhere!! Yes, it sounds easier said than done (and scary as all heck) but ADHD is your life long roommate. It’s the very fabric of your being, whether you like it or not. The more you learn about your roommate, the better your life together will be :). Have fun with it!!

For some resources on learning about ADHD, check out our ADHD Resouces page.

ADHD Books ~ ADHD Coaches and Communities ~ Blogs ~ Podcasts ~ Websources

And remember, if we look at our ADHD as a life-long gift, rather than a life-long curse, we will embrace it as an ability, not a disability.

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ADHD and Ridicule

Want to read more of my (short) blog posts? Visit The ADHD Lawyer Blog
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One of the biggest trademark issues I face when it comes to activating my ADHD symptoms is ridicule. Ridicule – or how I receive it, mockery – is a tremendous emotional trigger for me. For example, I’m asked to do a task by someone and I immediately feel self-inflicted pressure by default. My self-inflicted pressure causes me to believe the person is, or is becoming, impatient (negative misattribution – I’ll cover that in a future post [if I remember]). At this juncture, I’m swarmed with feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, incompetence, and I begin to [internally] panic. Next, frustration kicks into high gear – notice this scenario; it’s self-created. The other person (or people) has shown one iota of, or even alluded to, impatience. This thought-pattern is my automatic response-mechanism. It stems from my upbringing – NOT ONE MEMBER OF MY HOUSEHOLD HAD A MODICUM OF PATIENCE (which to this day, holds true)! I digress. Where are my coping mechanisms when I need them? What happened to my practiced behavior modifications? Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. I actually get to a point of consistent progress until . . . the mockery unveils. Let the [ADHD emotional breakdown] games begin! Anger begins to set in. Rather than becoming mindful at that moment, I go into full-blown defense mode: “I got it . . . give me a sec . . . Almost there . . . no, thanks, [I don’t need your help! PLEASE it’s going to distract even more than I already am!!!! STOOOPPP] . . . ” The Phoenix rises and my exhausting diatribe of explanation emerges.

ADHD is a full-time job.

Becoming self-aware

Fortunately for me (and my counterparts), I am becoming more self-aware when faced with these types of situations. While I am not in the least bit immune to ridicule, I am unequivocally aware of the thoughts and emotions I experience as a result of it. I recognize that I am highly sensitive to mockery and the reasons behind my heightened sensitivity. Please do not misunderstand the weight of my message – I am not always successful at controlling the ADHD beast within me. Modifying my reactionary behavior is a life-long journey that takes blood, sweat and tears to implement and is fails most of the time. But I don’t give it. Read that again. I DON’T GIVE UP! I say to myself, it’s not the critic who counts . . . then I google Theodore Roosevelt’s famous quote:

It’s Not The Critic Who Counts!

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

ADHD is a Full-Time Job!

Living with ADHD is a full-time job. It’s perpetual work. I work my butt off and do whatever it takes to turn my ADHD symptoms into superpowers. Half full or half empty? Either option still gives you something tangible – it’s up to you to decide how you will take advantage of that commodity.

The ADHD Lawyer

ADHD Books ~ ADHD Coaches and Communities ~ Blogs ~ Podcasts ~ Websources

Sequel to this blog post: “Let’s break this pattern down” Coming soon to The AHDH Lawyer Blog

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ADHD Coping Goal: Self-Control, Concrete Thinking, & Calmness

Want to read more of my (short) blog posts? Visit The ADHD Lawyer Blog
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Do you ever feel like no one hears you . . . I mean really HEARS you? I feel this way every single day of my life. When it comes to talking about something, I have this innate need to thoroughly explain my point, my take, my perception – whatever I’m trying to convey – in order to feel understood. I expect undivided attention, without interruption of course, otherwise I get derailed and forget what I am saying which then sends me into a tizzy of sorts, and my emotions erupt like Mount Vesuvius!!!

ADHD is not intentional

I love using the word brevity, but rarely can apply to my own articulations. How do I deter my emotions from overpowering my intelligence? I’ll let you know when I figure it out. Just kidding. My next blog post will address specific coping mechanisms for over-explaining, which I aspire and intend to master. The one coping mechanism I use daily are the 3 Cs of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

  • C1 – Catch: I [try to] identify the thought that came before the emotion;
  • C2 – Check: I [try to] reflect on how accurate ans useful the thought is; and
  • C3 – Change: I [try yo] change the thought to a more accurate or helpful thought as needed.

How do you deal with over-explaining? Do you catch it and try to implement a behavior modification? Please share your thoughts/comments below.

ADHD Books ~ ADHD Coaches and Communities ~ Blogs ~ Podcasts ~ Websources

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Imperfections

Want to read more of my (short) blog posts? Visit The ADHD Lawyer Blog
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We all have imperfections. And that’s ok because without those amazing, unique, fantastic, crazy, challenging, difficult, crystal-clear imperfections, we wouldn’t be who we are!

This statement applies to every aspect of life, especially an ADHD life.  Most importantly, it helps to rewire your thought-process. Why? Because if you embrace your imperfections, your response resonates not only to yourself but to everyone around you.  By willingly accepting your imperfections, you send the message that you are human.  How you respond to your ‘defect’, ‘fault’, ‘flaw’, or ‘deficiency’ (you get the point) rather than your reaction to it, conveys how you rewire your weakness to strength.  You show vulnerability which in turn shows strength.  And that my friend is inspiring.

Inspire with your imperfections.

We are perfectly flawed. Be proud of that amazing attribute!

You are a human being and are allowed to be imperfect, and you are allowed to be flawed. There is a lot of beauty in your imperfections, in your uniqueness.

~Ileana D’Cruz

Welcome to a brand new day!

See the ADHD and Riducule blog post

Want to know more about The ADHD lawyer? Check out my blog post What is an Adhd Lawyer?

ADHD Books ~ ADHD Coaches and Communities ~ Blogs ~ Podcasts ~ Websources

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What is an ADHD Lawyer? Part II.

Part II. What is a L A W Y E R?

A Lawyer is . . . a noun. To lawyer is . . . a verb! Ha! Seriously, a lawyer is one who is licensed to practice law. Black’s Law Dictionary 905 (8th ed. 2004). As an aside (ADHD, sorry), my Black’s is pristine (because I never use it). The updated definition on Westlaw is, a lawyer is someone who, having been licensed to practice law, is qualified to advise people about legal matters, prepare contracts and other legal instruments, and represent people in court. Black’s Law Dictionary (10th ed. 2014), available at Westlaw.com. Interesting upgrade from 2004. I guess a lot happens in 10 years!

I am not sure if Merrium Webster consulted with BAG but their definition is a bit grammatically off. A lawyer is, one whose profession is to conduct lawsuits for clients or to advise as to legal rights and obligations in other matters. Conduct lawsuits? The conduct of a lawsuit is litigation, hence conduct litigation but, a lawyer conducts lawsuits? I guess MW views a lawyer akin to an opera conductor. Ironically, when I searched Google for the phrase, “conduct lawsuits for clients”, the results were ethics opinions and malpractice suits. #interstinglyodd At, my age, I really shouldn’t be using hashtags (or dude, for that matter). #generationX

And the verb, lawyer, per Black’s 10th Edition: 1. To practice as a lawyer <associates often spend their days and nights lawyering, with little time for recreation>. 2. To supply with lawyers <the large law-school class will certainly help lawyer the state>. See lawyer up. (love the slang, BAG!). Black’s Law Dictionary (10th ed. 2014)

To follow. Part III: Lawyer Acronyms. Lawyer synonyms. Putting it all together (ADHD Lawyer). To. Be. Continued. FFN Categories: Blog, General Posts, Posts Tags: ADHD, adhd lawyer, blog, lawyer Edit